IC Inbox

[delincuente]

"Hey, it's Alex. I'm probably either asleep or ignoring you, so leave a message and don't call back! 'Kay, bye."

Comments

[feathery]

aaron carter
really
did something happen in the years i went mia

[delincuente]

no
but maybe i just want to go to aaron's party okay

[feathery]

hahahaha
ok i can support that
we just have to make sure someone grounds him for extra authenticity at the end

[delincuente]

i'll get on that
being an adult and all

who's on your list

[feathery]

snoop
ben stiller and owen wilson for solidarity
id say atroma should kidnap adam sandler or dane cook to spare an alt reality their repellent vaudeville diarrhea but im not that magnanimous
drew barrymore and jessica alba can come instead
actually id include all the competitors from master chef
that sounds like an ace meal plan and theyd even know what to expect since they come straight from another reality show
oh yeah and bill nye

[delincuente]

oh my god that is the most epic lineup of all time
we'd be set for eternity
just gonna chill in space with my girl drew forever

[feathery]

a dude of the theological demon variety has also included the golden girls

[delincuente]

oh my god did you go in crowley's head

[feathery]

no he just took me seriously when i called back to the future a documentary

[delincuente]

yeah he's kind of like that weird uncle who you never quite understand

[feathery]

maybe its cause hes fake british
brits are supposed to be all kinds of incomprehensible to us americans already
so the layers involved make him extra obtuse

[delincuente]

...
. . . . . . .
oh my god
i never realized before
that he isn't actually british
same with that alien guy i knew in para
what the fuck
they're just posers
trying to sound all fancy
can we even trust them

[feathery]

dude why do aliens always pretend theyre british
is there nowhere else in the extended universe to pretend to be from
do they learn all their english from bbc
so i guess in short
no
you cant trust someone who relies entirely on bbc for linguistical acquisition
i expect a higher quota of shitty movies and thats an american specialty

[delincuente]

idk bro
but bbc sounds like some kind of drug

[feathery]

one hell of a drug
it gives you a posh accent on contact
take a little more and you get a craving for tea and start carving out an hour of your day dedicated just to the celebration of its existence
overdose and you dont shut up about the queen and get snipped into a permanent beatles haircut
id say youre also become a wizard but you already got that covered

[delincuente]

oh my god i couldn't do it
i already hear enough about tea
i could totally deal with the accent though
there's a reason like half my exes are british

[feathery]

yeah lets be real its a coveted accent
everyone wants a piece of that
i met a dude who claims hes from california but sometimes he randomly pronounces shit like hes british
still dont know what the deal is with that