IC Inbox

[delincuente]

"Hey, it's Alex. I'm probably either asleep or ignoring you, so leave a message and don't call back! 'Kay, bye."

Comments

voice; sometime after Jason's departure

[stefanged]

Hey, Alex. Have you seen Jason around lately? I figured he might've been racing the other ships, but... I just checked the shuttles. Both're still here.

[delincuente]

[She's already been awake for hours after figuring it out, and is currently lying on Jason's bunk with the hopes that maybe, somehow, he'll come back and tell her to get off. When she hears Stefan's message, it takes her a few minutes to reply.]

Yeah, they sent him home. Just like Tay.

text;

[geonomy]

[So this is like an hour or so after Alex text Allen about the bootycall lmao]

GUESS WHOS GOT A BOYFRIEND IT'S ME

[delincuente]

[Oh my god. Clay. No. What.]

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

[She just types ellipses for awhile, ngl.]

what the fuck clay
i mean like i'm excited for you and i want to know who it is and all but
timing, bro
i know you read my messages to

oh my god
is it allen
are you and allen a thing
like a THING thing

[text] 1/????

[misterprongs]

O Captain myCapti

[text]

[misterprongs]

Bollocks hang on

[text] 20 MINUTES LATER

[misterprongs]

O Captain my Captain our fearful trip is done
something something
etc

[text]

[misterprongs]

the rest probably isnt important

96% sure its not

they haven't got a wizardry version :(

[text]

[misterprongs]

It's a face by the way.

:(

Took me 10 minutes to figure that out.

[text] ok done ALSO ANOTHER 10 MINUTES LATER

[misterprongs]

How do muggles do this???

Anyway how are you?

How's the family

weather

etc

accio captain alex

Text;

[save_the_souls]

Alex, this is terrible. My cook got sent home. (っ- ‸ – ς)

[delincuente]

oh my god
are you okay??
are you going to starve to death?????

text

[stefanged]

[Sent about five minutes after this exchange]

Hey, is there any way you could turn a local squash into a pumpkin for me?
It's not exactly URGENT, but I don't think pumpkins grow well here.

[text]

[delincuente]

i can't promise how great it'll taste but
yeah i could probably do it

text;

[feathery]

important query
who else should we put on the list of celebs atroma should kidnap for no reason
i mean
besides all of them

[delincuente]

ooooh my god you don't even know how much thought i've already put into this question
it's super important to me okay

- the pinkett-smith family
- that president with the hat
- orlando bloom
- ellen and portia
- aaron carter
- the cast of juno

text - 12/23

[stefanged]

So I just restocked the kitchen with at least ten different types of salt. We should be good for the next year or so.

You around? I wanted to ask you something.

[text]

[delincuente]

oh man finally
i can return to my sodium-laden new york city diet
and i don't even need to hunt down a good pretzel

and yeah i'm up in the bridge

backdated 12.25; bc i have been a lazy holiday shit

[feathery]

[Hey there, Alex. I hope you were prepared to find an atrocious multi-part comic with a glowing bag of glowing Doritos. There's also a letter attached to the comic, handwritten.]

so i wrestled with the idea of getting you a present for a while. not because i had to decide if you were getting a present but because picking out one that was appropriately legit was hard. there were so many options. so maybe this is a cop out but i figured why not make a comic that combined all of those options with every ironic callback i could think of. start off easy with some intro level shit and then ascend into the real tiers of absolutely fucking shithive hideous you know.

figured it would be the kind of thing you would appreciate. its not everyday you meet a like minded visionary who has become a pro at kicking boredoms ass around here while simultaneously keeping it real.

the beef steak with grape jelly on it is symbolic of the immiscible apeshit bananas happenstance we found ourselves in btw. you probably knew that already but now you have official insider deets. those might be worth something someday.

merry christmas alex

[text; and dude i only remembered to send mine bc i got this tag]

[delincuente]

[Alex is completely overjoyed and it's probably a good thing they're doing this through text, or else she'd be embarrassed by how happy she is to get this note.]

oh my god do you even realize how perfect a bird human you are
this is the most beautiful gift i've ever gotten
and the beef steak is only the beginning
you are a true renaissance man mr. dave fanta

merry christmas bro

[Backdated to 12/25]

[geonomy]

[When Alex goes out for the day, she'll find a present outside her door! It's a pillow that's about twenty inches wide, and there's a lavender bow tied around it with a tag that reads:

"To: Alex
From: Clay ☆

Rawr! Take me to your pillow fort!"]

[text]

[delincuente]

[As soon as she sees it - and promptly bursts out laughing with amusement and fondness - she shoots him a quick text.]

omg you dork i love it
merry christmas!!!!!!!
<3

[text] ; 1/2 <- THAT'S THE DATE BTW

[geonomy]

han solo sent me this

[And so he sends over ichi_ichi.pdf.

Save him from this awful thing.]

TY I ACTUALLY WAITED FOR 2/2 FOR A MINUTE

[delincuente]

[Silly Clay, how do you expect Alex to save you from the awful ninja porn, when this is the best thing that's happened to her in weeks?]

hoooly shit
idk who the fuck han solo is but
he is a god among men
where did he even find this

action

[stefanged]

[When Stefan enters her room this time, it's with a freshly-brewed mug of coffee and some extra-salty caramels. The guilt on his face is as clear as day - and surprisingly, it's unrelated to their current drama.]

So uh. I might've told Remus the truth about our paperwork situation.

[read: that Stefan does all the vast majority of it]

[delincuente]

[She's still in her pajamas, flipping through a magazine, and quirks an eyebrow in amusement at him.]

Yeah? Is he gonna mutiny, or something?

Text;

[save_the_souls]

Alex, there's something I need to warn you about regarding your new crewmate Theon.

[text]

[delincuente]

you mean the asshole who shoved me???
what's up with him
aside from being a manchild

Text; 2/6

[stefanged]

Keep Valentine's Day completely clear, alright? After these past few weeks, I was thinking we could use some serious alone time.

[text; 2/6]

[delincuente]

you got it ;)

finally a valentine's day in a place that won't give me weird cursed chocolate
or something just as grisly

[text]

[timelapsed]

Heeeey Alex u got a minute

[delincuente]

yeah def
what's up

Text; 3/19

[save_the_souls]

Alex, I'm sorry to bother you, but I have a very important question for you.

Who would play us all in a bad movie?

[delincuente]

holy crap dude i've totally been thinking about this for months
i've got it all worked out okay just sit back

i would be played by penelope cruz obviously
i mean she's like 40 or something and not even mexican but this is a bad movie so it doesn't matter
you'd be elijah wood but with a wig and less tired
clay would be played by dwayne the rock johnson
excuse me, dwayne the moon rock johnson
and stef would be played by rob patz bc hollywood thinks all vampires are white dudes but also tbh he's really cute

text »

[stefanged]

[He doesn't want to send this via text, but he's also still figuring out his boundaries, so - ]

Elena's back. It doesn't look like she remembers the Fleet, either.

[delincuente]

[Oh. Huh. Well.]

oh hey that's awesome!!!